When you have grown up with the feeling of not being enough and wanting acceptance. All you crave is the love of those around you. Asking yourself what is wrong with me? Why can’t I find the happiness that is spoken off? To grow up with such pain of just wanting to be completely 100% yourself and be loved.
What does this look like for you, can you relate?
Well let me share with you one of my biggest challenges, may it bring you loving support for your own challenges, to inspire growth and love within you. I have been told I have a great understanding for love. This I have felt and learned over the years as I have continued to be shown. The funniest thing about this is the lack of self love I have experienced. This is something I am constantly fighting with. The more I fight for growth the more I build unconditional love for myself. Speaking my truth in this completely. I have spent the last 9 years breaking through every mask that was either expected of me, given or put on me. To the point now I am finally at 29 years of age, breaking through my most crippling mask of all.
OPINIONS, yes that is right the opinions of everybody else and the negative opinions I held onto myself from belief systems that were instilled into me growing up. The opinions of not being smart enough, pretty enough, successful enough, fit enough and loved enough. These opinions would stop me in my tracks. I would never share about my dreams, intuition, growth, personal development, spiritual connection, healthy living, goals, conscious relationships all because I cared too much for the OPINIONS OF OTHERS. Always holding the thought of NOT BEING ENOUGH in my mind, because of course with this not being enough business I would always think everything I did to grow and develop still wasn't enough. I was telling myself a STORY. This story was actually, BLAME. I was blaming my upbringing for my belief systems that were created, I was blaming others for hurting me, I was blaming everyone else for my pain, my injury, my unhappiness, I was blaming my parents, friends, family, partners, lovers, employers, career choices, finances, money management. This blame would stretch far and wide to all areas of my life. This is not my truth, this is only the story of not being enough because of x,y & z. This was all because I was blaming everything and everyone around me.
What is the story you are telling yourself? To break away from the story you have to become aware of what story you are telling yourself. After you become aware of it you need to TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for every single thing that happens in your life and STOP BLAMING EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE AROUND YOU. OWN EVERYTHING IN YOUR LIFE. YOU CAN CHOOSE TO CREATE A LIFE OF FULFILLMENT, HAPPINESS NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE IN YOUR LIFE.
I know that everything that has happened to me is because I created it to be so, good or bad. The lessons I have learnt are never ending. I am grateful to say that I am always willing to face it and fight. I am always willing to see my shadow side and learn from it, embrace it even and hold it with love till it is released and all is left is self love. This is my truth, the shadows and the love. I grew up feeling I was not accepted, I felt the eyes of everybody watching and caring too much about what everyone thought. I stopped myself from so much in my life because I cared too much about what everyone thought of me and the thought of not being accepted and loved haunted me.
I am now so incredibly grateful for everything that has been in my life. All the bad and all the good, as without it I would not have been able to be where I am now and continue to go deep within myself to do the work and what it takes to serve and help others alike. I strive to hold myself in the highest light and love and never fall into spiritual bypass but to continue to grow and heal so I may become the best divine self of unconditional love I can be.
With that I leave you to think about the story you are telling yourself and to take responsibility for everything that you may be feeling in your life, of course hold love in your heart when doing this and be true to yourself.
STAND STRONG. LOVE. BE HONEST. & remember there's always a lesson to be learnt. WITH LOVE ALWAYS CHRISTINA CERONE